A warm hug of Christmas
"Ma, Pa, where are my gifts?" Gifts, Christmas trees, and laughter occupy each corners of the house. Wind blowing cold breeze, sleigh bells are ringing, and yells of children are heard across the streets. One would find these typical settings a season of love — the Christmas holiday.
Christmas is a season for many things, but most especially, it's to commemorate love and gratitude originating from the birth of Christ. One way or the other, every person has experienced love even in the most trivial of things; it could be a help from peers, an "I love you" from someone, or just in the very smiles of strangers. This holiday is the most suited occasion to be more expressive of how we feel about people, be gentler and forgiving with ourselves, and be more eager to reconnect and bond with family.
Lies beneath expression
"Wow!" a simple word but portrays a clear meaning—a clear depiction of expression. Humans are meant to feel; likewise, we are bound to act according to our feelings. Let Christmas be a season to do more in expressing your love in any or many forms. "Ang Pasko ay pag-ibig," says the Christmas station ID of ABS-CBN in 2009, which is engraved in the hearts and minds of many Filipinos. Let it be more than just a station ID, but a reminder. Worry not about how you can express your love, for Chapman (1992) got your back; he suggested five love languages in which people can express their love: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.
The holiday season, twinkling with Christmas lights adorning a tall pine tree of green, a star that overlooks the gifts sitting humbly underneath, and a bountiful of festive treats never cease to create a space where we could feel emotionally connected with one another. Some of us, however, report feeling more distressed as we face relatives who are rather strange and unknown to us or people we have a tumultuous relationship (American Psychological Association, 2016). Christmas can be both a time for you to unwind or to feign a smile and remain constricted. The warmth of this holiday season allows an all-too-expressive Filipino family to open up even more, our affection not being withheld by the festive air, sometimes even harsh comments being said with not a second thought. Many can attest to this with their Titas and Titos coming over and leaving with remarks, often bringing up unresolved family issues as a result of careless communication.
For this reason, the expressiveness of the Christmas atmosphere begins to turn into a toxic, nagging space in which we no longer feel safe being in. It can be a season of giving or a social obligation with strained smiles instead of genuine intimacy. With this, it is suggested to remain genuine during the Christmas season and allow a more positive environment to be fostered through empathic and openminded communication in which gratitude and appreciation are what is heard (National Communication Association, 2010). These suggestions may help you see past the negativities, enjoy the holidays, and approach a new year with growth and love.
Venture unto reconnecting with family
Us Filipinos are known for having a "family-oriented" culture, and if combined with Christmas spirit — we become a cocktail for a wild ride. Families, particularly families with minor children – attach great importance to this event, and the planning and performing often take up considerable time and attention (Hauri, 2021). Our Christmas parties are known to be fun outside of the culture, but there is also a great tendency to encounter the latest and hottest tea within the family. It could be migraineinducing for anyone, of course. However, reconnecting is also a huge part of the celebration—catching up with your favorite family members, especially those with whom you share values and interests, can lead to a wholesome interaction that will be memorable for everyone involved. This is also an opportunity to take time for your tired soul to relax and enjoy after a long and tiring year.
Families from all over the world spend holidays together, with food and beverages, gifts and embraces, laughter and magnificent cheers. Our Filipino families, on the other hand, are especially festive. This signifies that the family reunites early and in big numbers. You would meet the family you had no idea existed. These are the scenes we see during the start of "Ber" months, where everyone progressively gathers to enjoy the holidays until New Year's Eve. Although the conventional nuclear family is the fundamental family unit, ties between extended family members are generally close (Scroope, 2017). This already-extended Christmas season is combined with the opportunity to meet your extended relatives, which may result in unexpected, profound bonds that will last.
In light of these extensions, these familial bonds transcend boundaries of distance in the lives of overseas Filipino workers and their families in the Philippines. Cabalquinto (2017) discovered the customized and varied practices of the transnational Filipino family in performing intimacy at a distance, paving the way for developing copresence over holidays. If even geographical isolation and relative strangeness to a family can be overcome, perhaps we, or you, might be touched by the spirit of the holidays. Perhaps you would experience deep connections and affection with those who were brought together by the joy of the festivities.
Personal healing
As reconnecting with family and expression of love imprinted in Christmas, for some, it also signifies Personal healing. Delving wholeheartedly into the spirit of the Christmas season– will be very good for our mental health. After battling a tough year, a break from the world and personal healing might be exactly what we need (Nilufar Ahmed, 2022). Living in this realm of an imperfect world can be full of doubts, regrets, and misery. We live on the same ground, breathing in the same atmosphere, seeing the same night sky, — in the same world. And yet, we all have different approaches and experiences in life. Some are walking on smooth and nice cemented paths, while others are walking in the paths of glass shards barefooted. For some, the Christmas holiday is their safe space to heal after receiving grudges from the world. And perhaps this year may be rough and tough for you, perhaps you’ve experienced some loss, and maybe you fought with just yourself while hugging your sorrows. But as the season of Christmas is approaching may a cold breeze remind you to take a breath and heal from the scars you've picked up this year. Know that the garden of blossom is waiting for your healing. The road to that path is tough, so be patient with yourself.
Filipino families are more joyful in time — connecting with one another despite differences to enjoy the meaning of Christmas. It has stirred amongst them the open-mindedness for healthier communication, one that is built on honesty and trust. Because of this, their holiday season is spent hosting loved ones from extended families, expressing sincere intimacy and affection despite generational divides, and experiencing the healing sense of emotional fulfillment that comes from being a part of a tight-knit family, it has made them more resilient as they face yet another challenge without ever forgetting the guidance of their loved ones. Indeed, Christmas is a merry time and so shall your Filipino family bask in the love and care of one another and express gratitude for yet another, transformative year past.
RESEARCH COMMITTEE:
Perez, King Josh D.
Jabal, Nicole Sian M.
Niones, Marc Andrei L.
Layco, Riezabelle G.
Hagosoos, Shammel.
REFERENCES:
American Psychological Association. (2016, November 1). Holidays don’t have to mean excess stress. it’s time to reframe your thoughts. American Psychological Association.
Cabalquinto, E. C. (2017). “We’re not only here but we’re there in spirit”: Asymmetrical Mobile Intimacy and the Transnational Filipino family. Mobile Media & Communication, 6(1), 37–52.
Hauri, R. (2011). Christmas Celebration, an annual family gathering. In Palgrave Macmillan UK eBooks (pp. 45–62).
National Communication Association . (2017, April 14). Avoiding family stress and conflict during the Holidays. National Communication Association.
Scroope, C. (2017). Filipino culture - family. Cultural Atlas. https://culturalatlas.sbs.com.au/filipino-culture/filipino-culture-family
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